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Ambrose Bierce

(1842-1913) American Author, Editor, Journalist

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A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.

Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

Destiny. a tyrant's authority for crime, and a fool's excuse for failure.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Genius. To know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from Anonymous premises; to discern the soul of things.

In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.